Tails from the land of dumbworx

Gather 'round, folks, and brace yourselves for a tale so almost true it'll make you question reality! Picture this: a valiant Knight of the IT order, battling not dragons, but the dreaded thieves guild of Gothiem. It all started eons ago in an Inn far, far away. I was there, weary from endless nights and days in the saddle, fleeing from the clutches of the dastardly and dreadfully dull Tomee, leader of the guild.

Now, here's where the story takes a turn for the whimsical. Seated beside me was a wizard, not just any wizard, mind you, but a fabulously dapper and delightfully flamboyant one. As we guzzled tankard after tankard of ale, he regaled me with tales of his employment under the kingdom of Dumbworx, serving the infamous Lady ShallO Two-Face and the Sheriff-Who-Really-Should-Retire.

According to him, the kingdom was in dire straits, plagued by digital decay and managerial mishaps. And there I was, in my cups, peppering him with pointless questions just to keep the drinks flowing. Hey, he was buying!

Ah, but let me tell you, dear friends, the wizard wasn't just a talker; he had a trick or two up his rainbow-colored sleeve. With a flick of his wand and a sprinkle of sparkles, he bewitched me with the most dazzling rainbow spell I'd ever seen! Mesmerized and slightly tipsy, I found myself drawn to his cause like a moth to a flame.

So there I was, in my somewhat inebriated state, declaring my readiness to aid him in his noble quest. After all, I reasoned, I was weary from battling every imaginable techno-monster under the binary sun. And hey, who doesn't love a good rainbow spell, right?

Ah, off we trotted, crossing bridges and traversing through Sinkbore, straight into the heart of the kingdom of Dumbwerx. But our journey was not without its peculiar encounters. Picture this: a seemingly harmless rat, decked out in ridiculously tight pink pants, crossed our path. Now, normally, I would've been inclined to shoo the little critter away with a hearty "Go home and change, buddy!" But oh no, not the wizard. He was all about inclusivity and acceptance.

So, there I stood, reluctantly agreeing to let this fashion-forward rodent, who went by the name Plevin, join our merry band. After all, who was I to argue with a wizard and his fabulous rat sidekick in pink pants? Sometimes you just gotta roll with the bizarre, folks.

After camping in Stinkbore and fighting off a few drunk college students and a very smelly, unhoused person, we came to the castle of Dumbwerxs. There, we were met by the infamous Lady ShallO Two-Face and the Sheriff-Who-Really-Should-Retire. They told us that the camera system had been acting funny and wanted us to check it out. Although they offered very little gold, I had no money left for castle upkeep, and I was already there, so I agreed. The very merry tech wizard had wizard things to do... like play with pythons or python spells I can't remember, so I took my rat in tight pink pants into the server quarters to see what all the trouble was about.

As I entered the server quarters of the castle of Dumbwerxs, I was immediately struck by the hum of machinery and the faint scent of burning wires and mold. The room was dimly lit, with two servers half-assed in a rack, their blinking lights casting an eerie glow.

My rat in tight pink pants scurried along beside me, asking if he would have to actually pick things up and if it was normal to be out of the seat saddle. I, of course, told him that being a brave knight of the order of IT sometimes means fighting out of the chair saddle. He said something about how this was hard and whether we were there yet. Anyway, we approach the main console where the camera feeds are displayed, noticing immediately that something is indeed amiss. The screens flicker sporadically, displaying distorted images and strange glitches.

With a determined look, I rolled up my sleeves and set to work; my rat in tight pink pants kept squeaking encouragement and found a seat saddle. as I began to troubleshoot the system. I checked cables, reset connections, and ran diagnostics, all the while trying to decipher the cause of the malfunction.

After what felt like hours of tinkering, and squeaky complaints from my rat squire, I finally pinpointed the problem: a rogue virus had infiltrated the system, being discovered the true form of the monster made itself know

Boom, the room was thrown into darkness.

Scary digital sounds and very feminine rat noise

I had to think fast... I told the rat squire in pink pants to bring me my sword. I had set down by him... While he was supposed to be keeping watch in the seat saddle. Of course, he could not even lift such a manly weapon. Being rather small and underfed, I should have known better than to leave anything physical in his hands. I did the only thing I could; I lashed out with a wicket kick. While that fixed the camera system.. kind of, but more importantly, my ankle was smashed. Plevin seemed very sad about his failure and promised to eat even less food and lift weights instead of doing knight stuff. While I had my doubts about such a training plan, I kept my peace. Maybe rats men in tight pink pants work differently than men. It mattered not; I was off to the healer.

The hour is late and the ale no longer flows time for bed.

I will release more tales and fun and easy-to-follow tech tips every other day. Come back and see us soon, my fellow adventures. For the story of my misbegotten adventures is far from over.